


He Knew Him First

by Tobsana



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I'm tired, Jealously, M/M, Moving On, Oneshot, The last three were barely mentioned, iwaoi on the side, life - Freeform, new life, observant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 15:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12257397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobsana/pseuds/Tobsana
Summary: Looking back, Kunimi couldn't really agree with himself, in exactly where he went wrong.He just knew, that somewhere along the way, he lost something he never dreamt of letting go.





	He Knew Him First

Kageyama wasn’t the one to share his emotions, not before he grew the confidence only a king could ever obtain, and not after. Sure, he screamed out his hardest when he wanted to correct anyone in volleyball, but he never, ever expressed his emotions.

He had people, he had friends in the past that helped him bring them out. Sometimes he just needed Kunimi to read his expressions with one glance, and to tell what he was thinking.

He used to have him.

Instead of hearing the squeaking noises that is created when volleyball shoes are hitting the waxed gym floors, he hears chatter, banter and then laughter. Swiping off the littlest sweat that surfaces his neck, Kunimi turns to face the third years, pouncing around with teases, and rude remarks that never cause real harm.

He doesn’t move his entire body to face the males, he only slightly turn his head, tilting it so that his ears are able to catch what they were joking about exactly.

He scoffs when it’s about the connection between Iwaizumi and Oikawa, about the fact that they have a strong connection simply because of how long they knew one another.

He doesn’t believe in that. No, Kunimi doesn’t believe time is what makes someone have a strong connection. Kindaichi and Kageyama had known each other just as long as he with them. Yet, the two were always butting heads, always arguing and never able to read one another’s facial expressions and body languages. Never able to grab a hint.

It was so much more than time.

He should know, Iwaizumi and Oikawa both too, should know.

He was always able to read Kageyama easily. Never with a hesitant thought. He could read him as easily as he can sleep in class during literature.

He could. He was the only one.

Yet, Kunimi was smart to realize that he would never, ever be the only one to ever be able to.

Especially since that short boy they had fought against in Kitagawa Daiichi, appeared.

He was the sun, shining brightly, and catching every signal Kageyama and thrown at him. He was so good, with reading the setters emotions. He was so good that it had people mistake them from childhood friends.

But they weren’t. No, Kageyama and Kunimi had known one another since they were children. They were supposedly to be the ones that were supposed to cause such a reaction.

And this wasn’t just a one-way street either, Kageyama was able to just read Kunimi just as well. He could catch each signal, each twitch and frown and know what each meant. Now there was no one, there was no one to make such a connection with him.

Of course Kindaichi had tried, countlessly tried to replace what Kageyama had left behind. Yet, he just couldn’t fit as well as Kunimi had wanted.

But it wasn’t like Kunimi could complain, it wasn’t like Kageyama left because he was a jackass everyone proclaimed him to be. No, because Kunimi was the one to drive him away, to slap him with reality that he wasn’t the only one on the court. He was the one who expressed his emotions on his sleeve, telling Kageyama that he had enough.

He was the one to read Kageyama’s own scared, hurt and abandon expression and not say a thing about it. Because wanting to be read by someone who wouldn’t look at you was impossible. Kunimi had to express his own emotions first, but couldn’t. Leaving Kageyama no choice but to walk away.

It was difficult enough to wake up at a different time, so that he wouldn’t walk in the same path as Kageyama to the station, to take them even farther apart from one another to different destinations. It was difficult enough for Kageyama to stand in front of him, waiting for a train to go south, while he waited to go north.

To see him, in an indifferent expression. No longer holding that feared expression, no longer looking shy. While Kunimi diverts his direction of sight. Pretending that Kageyama was less important than a crack on the ground.

Just as they were good at reading one another, they were good at looking uninterested, closed-off.

Words.

Words was the one thing missing in this relationship, in the broken friendship that had so much potential. S

Words was the one thing they didn’t have.

Kunimi was never a talker, he kept to himself, always keeping notes in his head and making little remarks to himself only. Only rarely he joins Hanamaki in a joke, only rarely he teases Oikawa with Matsukawa.

Kageyama too, was not a talker. He had directions, commands and orders. But never words to say otherwise.

Maybe it wasn’t that, maybe Kunimi is putting blame on the both of them, when in fact it was just him.

He was perspective, an observant little shit. He knew, and so was Kageyama. They both were so careful, always reading and Kunimi was so sure he was the only one giving Kageyama the attention he believed he deserved. He couldn’t ignore the fact that Oikawa was there too, just as good at reading people as they were, maybe even better.

Maybe Kageyama was on par with Oikawa, and Kunimi hadn’t realized it.

Or maybe it was volleyball. Maybe if they didn’t join the sport, they would still be friends. Maybe if they didn’t practice in elementary school, Kageyama wouldn’t have become so obsessed, so tunnel vision in the game.

But there he goes again, Kunimi is constantly putting the blame in Kageyama that he’s forgetting that he was in part of this as well. He was at fault, so why did his thoughts always direct him to blame Kageyama?  


Because he was left behind? Because Kageyama was quick to move on to his new team, and forget them, him, just as quick?

Or maybe it was because Kageyama had so much confidence in Kunimi, to be just as a good player as he was. But there was times where effort just won’t cut it, that you would have to be lucky in order to get that far.

Maybe it was because Hinata was everything he was not.

Maybe it was because Hinata was the one that caught Kageyama in the end. To be able to get him to openly share his feelings. To make him feel emotions Kunimi could never bring out of him.

Kunimi just couldn’t place a finger on why, on why his assumption didn’t go as plan. They were supposed to bring Kageyama back down to the court with them, not to exile him off.

Kunimi sighs, letting the collar of his shirt fall. He looks over at his older teammates, watching Iwaizumi look at Oikawa fondly as he was saying something he could swear was stupid.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t as loud as Oikawa was, maybe he didn’t use the right gestures like Iwaizumi did. Maybe he thought he knew what he was doing, and maybe he thought Kageyama did too.

There was no point in dwelling at it, he supposes, turning his head back towards the second years and first years. They were practicing like the good kohai they were, and Kunimi was sure the adviser coach was about to hound his head off for Kunimi’s own lack at practice.

He jogs lazily back to the other side of the field, bring up a small nod at Yahaba, not once interrupting the second years new tactic.

It stung, still.

To know that he couldn’t really do anything to get Kageyama back. He wasn’t going to abruptly change his character for the long run to talk to Kageyama again. And he knew, or maybe he was assuming again, that Kageyama wouldn’t either.

He scoffs again, and for some reason, he felt wrong. He felt as though Kageyama would. He would come and apologize for a mistake he couldn’t forget, one that drove him into nightmares. He knew that Kageyama had changed, and Kunimi has not. He knew, that no matter what, Kunimi would always ruin it in the end, no matter how much he had wanted it back.

And it hurt, it hurt like hell, because he knew him better than anyone else, yet at the same time he didn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> I am stumped with college, I seriously thought I would have time to write my fics, but nope. I was wrong once again. 
> 
> Also, I wrote this last minute last night. So sorry if it sucks.  
> I'm seriously just about to start my Biology Homework...and then I have English to finish...and then a paper for a another class along with a powerpoint...


End file.
